


Steady Heart, Steady Hands

by theriacs



Series: A Matter of Perspective [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Character Study, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 16:36:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11108532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theriacs/pseuds/theriacs
Summary: For as long as Alex has been aware, she’s always had steady hands.





	Steady Heart, Steady Hands

**Author's Note:**

> It's always fascinating to peek into Alex's mind. Had this one bouncing around for a while. Might do a follow up from Kara's POV if there's interest. Kalex if you squint.

For as long as Alex has been aware, she’s always had steady hands.

_Steady heart, steady hands._

She heard her mother say it once, and it’s stuck with her ever since. They were the kind of words that people build their entire lives around.

Steady hands when she won her first science fair.

Her mother and father were so proud of her that day. It was her first taste of what it was like being the best, like the sweetness of the chocolate sundae they shared afterward.

Steady hands when she pushed on a younger boy’s chest.

Her father taught Alex how to ride the waves and swim, but Alex taught herself to dive into dark currents and save those who were drowning. Bringing someone back to life brought a chill down her spine colder than the ocean. She traded fairy tales for anatomy and physiology that day.

Steady hands when smoke and fire streaked across the sky.

Her life changed forever from that point forward. It wasn’t the end of the world, but it was the end of being the best. The morning she pushed aside her curtains to see a mop of blonde hair on top of sad blue eyes, Alex stared in wonder because how could a being with enough power in her pinky to level a skyscraper look just like a lonely little girl? They called Kryptonians the descendants of gods, but as Alex held Kara under the table while the popcorn maker popped like the crumbling pieces of Kara’s old home, Alex could only think Kara was as human as any of them.

Steady heart, steady hands.

Steady.

Steady.

Steady.

Her heart held steady when Kara pressed her ear to her chest to block out the world.

Her hands held steady when she carried her father’s casket to his grave.

It was with one steady hand that Alex carried her family through their grief, and another steady hand to throw back the liquor down her throat.

When she spiraled down into the depths of a jail cell, her hands held steady as she gripped the bars with a clear threat in her eyes, daring anyone to harm her sister.

Steady hands in anger, in fear, in guilt.

Steady hands as she helped a boy to his oxygen mask while his father cried beside him, their broken plane diving to the depths below.

Steady hands when she pulled the trigger to make her first kill.

Steady hands when she traded her scalpel for a blade.

Steady.

Steady.

Steady.

In the cold, metallic belly of the DEO, her hands tremble for the first time. They falter as she clutches guilt and sorrow close to her chest. Her hands can't decide if they should wipe her own tears and turn away or offer evidence of her betrayal. They wring together helplessly as she watches Kara lash out at J’onn.

He has suffered so much and lost his daughters.

He can't lose another.

Alex has carried many lies in her hands over the years. She carried Kara’s secret, like the blonde wasn't a supernatural deity from another planet. She carried half-finished bottles of liquor to the sink when her mother swore she was fine. She carried her diplomas like picking up her doctorates were a breeze. She carried herself as a soldier when she told her family she was a scientist and nearly carried her lies to the grave.

It's the truth that makes her hands shake.

It's the look of hurt and betrayal in Kara’s otherworldly blue eyes.

It’s the realization she's only ever been strong when there was a lie she needed to protect.

That wasn't the kind of person she wanted to be.

So with trembling hands, Alex tells Kara the truth.

And Kara holds her with steady hands.


End file.
